Procrasturbation - Writing About May in June

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'Cause that's how I roll? [placeholder for REAL post]

Step One - Outline all four parts of KinkFest Report
CHECK

Step Two - Write parts one and two of KinkFest Report
CHECK

Step Three - Post part one of KinkFest Report
CHECK

Step Four - Begin writing part three of KinkFest Report
CHECK

Step Five - Have computer crash
CHECK

Step Six - Post temporary piece on blog stalling for time
CHECK

Step Seven - Bang head against wall
CHECK

Okay, looks like my work is done here. See you all later.

The 2010 KinkFest Report (part 1 of 4): Pre-KinkFest (and Christmas in March)

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What I'd Like in a Play Partner (or Partners) at KinkFest

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Freya (Crush or Fetish, Part III)

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Happy New Year! (and Other Old Business)

Last week (Jan 22nd, to be exact), I sent this oh-so-optimistic message out over Twitter: With any luck, blogging resumes next week. And now that I've said that 'out loud', I fully expect to get hit by a bus or something.

Tomorrow is the last day of last week's 'next week', and I'm not going to be able to get up to the library (where the internet lives). Which means that I either post something today, or I'm a big fat liar. And while there's really nothing I can do right now about being big and fat, I do try my best not to be a liar. So . . . gotta post today.

The problem is, I never got around to writing this - the post I've been intending to write - while sitting in front of my computer at home. So right now, I'm sitting here writing this at the library. I'm actually writing my blog entry in the 'new blog entry' window instead of just pasting a previously written batch of text into the thing. It feels weird.

The reason that I'm telling you all this is so that if this turns out to be poorly written, filled with typos, and just plain ugly . . . it's because I'm out of my normal writing environment, and running without my normal multiple draft process.

[It's entirely possible that I'll post this now, and then edit it to reflect a second draft early next week.] [Feb 1st note - In fact, that's exactly what just happened. ZtC.]

Okay, on with the blog.

What Are You Doing New Year's? New Year's Eve?

Ten! . . . Nine! . . . Eight! . . . Seven! . . . Six! . . . Five! . . . Four! . . . Three! . . . Two! . . . One! . . . Happy New Year!

Whoo! Yay!

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne? For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Okay. Yeah, I know. It’s January 29th. Some might say it’s a little late to be doing the whole ‘happy new year’ thing, but you know what? This blog that you’re reading is called ‘Time Delay’. So I’m well within my rights to lag behind a little on holiday recognition if I want.

I think that it helps my case a little that I haven’t actually posted anything since mid-October. So it’s not like I was posting other stuff around December 31st, 2009 and January 1st 2010, then waited until now (nearly a month later) to mention New Year’s during the course of regular blogging.

I’m blaming everything on the massive pulmonary embolism (or 'PE' as the hospital staff tended to shorten the diagnosis down to) that felled me like a giant redwood back on October 1st. Everything is all messed up. The blog is late. I’ve got undelivered Christmas presents sitting here. Even the library books are overdue. It’s almost as if ‘Time Delay’ has become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

[Yes, that’s right. I’ve still got undelivered Christmas presents sitting here. One of which is simply waiting for it’s intended recipient to come pick it up. But the other one – that one needs to be delivered. My pal Zorch (not his real name) had originally volunteered to play Santa’s elf for me and get it to it’s ultimate destination sometime during the week before Christmas. But then his work schedule got in the way. Then personal stuff kept postponing the journey from here to there. It’s now more than a month past Christmas, and still the thing sits here. The very existence of this increasingly delayed present now makes me anxious. It’s an understandable gift within the context of Christmas, but removed from the holiday season, I’m afraid that it’s going to seem far too weird. The whole situation is starting to depress me. I’d deliver it myself, but – as I’ve said before, and will likely say again – Portland is just too far to walk.]

Desire, But No Drive

I've been wanting to continue writing and posting stuff ever since I got back home. But once I sit down at the computer, I find that there's none of the required 'umph' to get me going. Blogging seems important at all times except when I sit down to blog.

Sitting down to blog has accomplished the playing of lots and lots of Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire. It's seen me rewatch the first five seasons of House (among other miscellaneous stacks of TV-on-dvd). It just hasn't seen me do any actual blogging.

Half-Written and Unposted

While I was convalescing at the home of my siblings (and their significant others), I did manage to produce a series of half-finished blog entries. I wrote about my PE experience and hospitalization. I wrote about horniness in the face of mortality. I wrote about lots of things. No single complete blog entry, but lots and lots of half-entries, partial entries, and 'good starts'.

Unfortunately, when I finally was ready to go back home, there were no blank DVDs in their house. And I didn't have my flash drive with me. So all of the stuff that I'd written (along with a bunch of stuff that I'd grabbed from online -- including countless naughty pictures found on Tumblr) were left on my (then) future brother-in-law's computer.

Eventually, all that stuff was burned to disk and delivered to me. But there was a problem. My sister's (then) fiance burned it to disk, and then immediately deleted it off of his computer. Now, it might just be a function of my OCD that makes me double check to make sure that the files on the disk work before I ever delete anything that needs storage/archiving. But I can't understand these people who burn a disk, don't bother to check it, then delete the files off of the hard drive.

The disk, as you've probably surmised, was unopenable. Corrupt. Dead. All files lost.

Big blogging set-back.

Darklady’s Voodoo Tiki Lounge Polyween Party (and Other Unbloggables)

I had planned on writing and posting some event reports in November. Darklady's Halloween party, for one. And OryCon (Oregon's annual sci-fi convention).

Why didn't I post about what went on at these events? Because I didn't end up going to them.

I discovered in late October that although I'd been planning to attend Darklady's party, my lungs weren't yet up to the task. Then when Zorch's November schedule came up, it turned out that he'd had the dates wrong in his head, and ended up having to work when the con was. (Luckily, this was discovered before the cut-off for membership purchase and hotel room reservation. That last possible moment is usually when Zorch’s procrastination tank runs dry.)

Potentially amusing side note - when OryCon fell through, Zorch said, "Well, let's do RustyCon instead." RustyCon takes place in Washington, and this year was held January 15th through 17th. Unfortunately my sister's wedding was the 16th, so that ended up not happening, either. Right now we're looking at MAYBE doing Norwescon (also in Washington) in early April. I'm not holding my breath.

Other Things

Okay. So now I'm blogging again. (Maybe. Unless this is a one-time aberration, which it may very well be. Couldn't say for sure. Too early to tell.)

Before I continue on with the recently conceived post topics floating around in the back of my head, I've got to finish up some unfinished business in the next few posts.

For example, I never did get around to concluding the three-part 'Crush or Fetish?' series. And I want to get the posts about all of my PE-nonsense out of the way.

And the Most Important 'Old Business' Note of All

The last post I made prior to the whole PE episode was my event report on Darklady's 'Detention Hall Mini-Party' back in early September. While 'writing' the second draft/edit-&-cleanup versions of the post, I discovered this clumsy and awkward (but kinda catchy) turn of phrase contained therein: 'Plus, with the ever-present dark glasses (thank you, extreme light sensitivity), it probably looks like I’m trying to look like I’m not trying to look.'

Now, the logical thing to do under these circumstances would probably have been to reword it so that it read more smoothly. Rewriting everything after the parentheses, so that it read something like, “it probably appears that I’m trying to look like I’m not actively leering, ogling, and just plain staring at the naked people and their erotic activities.”

But logic and I oftentimes seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum. So, instead of fixing it, I left it as it exactly as it was, then ‘hung a lantern’ to call attention to it. My ‘fix’ was simply to add this bit in parenthesis right behind it. 'Man, I want to have someone set the last half of that previous sentence to music.'

Not long after posting that piece, I discovered that one of my readers went ahead and did that very thing. He took the time and effort to set the damn thing to music.

Of course, when I initially found it, I clicked on the link, and was informed that I had to have Flash Player 9 installed in order to listen to audio. And since I don't have the authority to randomly install software on the library's computers . . . I ended up having to wait until I was recovering at my brother and sister's house, post-PE before I could finally listen to it.

Go here. Listen. It's inspired. Kind of makes me want a 'Time Delay' soundtrack album.

My Recent Medical Crisis, Part Zero -- Prelude to a Prelude

My previous entry hit the blog on September 16th. So I've once again gone another month without posting. And, as always, I've got my excuses prepared. I gotta tell you, though. This time, I think my main excuse is the best one yet. Sure, I've got little side-excuses. All of my trips to the library in late September were unplanned-for, so I never had my flash drive with me. I had stuff to post on the "Time Delay Overflow" blog that never got posted because of that.

But the main reason that it's been a month since I last posted was because I've been incapacitated with scary health stuff. A life-threatening medical problem with accompanying hospitilization? Yeah. The blog was justifyably gathering dust this time.

So, without further ado . . .

Spoiler Warning - I'm Not Dead!

Okay. Over the course of several forthcoming blog entries I'm going to be telling a story about my current medical situation.

This story starts out with me feeling more poorly than usual. It includes two trips to the ER, both of which result in me being admitted to the ICU. And by time the story catches up to what is currently 'present day' as I sit here writing this, it'll also involve a stretch of daily trips to an outpatient clinic for daily injections, the world's most bruised stomach, and a (still ongoing) convalescence at the home of my siblings.

But since I have no idea how far into this story I'm going to get the first time out (or at each successive stage thereafter), I've decided to reveal some of the key plot points up front, so that those of you with an actual interest in my life will know what's going on before I finally get to writing about things like a diagnosis. Building suspense and setting up cliffhangers are fine in fiction, but it's probably not fair to run several posts worth of this story before ever getting to a diagnosis. That'd just be mean. So:

And the Diagnosis Is . . .

I suffered a pulmonary embolism. I had -- unbeknownst to me -- blood clots in my leg that broke off and took up residence in my lungs. "Multiple blood clots in both lungs," as the ER doctor told me. This made me basically stop breathing, and as breathing is apparently a necessary biological function, this caused all manner of wacky problems. (Including chest pain.)

A day after they sent me home, I developed pain running down my left arm, in conjunction with my chest pain -- which I've always been told was the primary warning sign of a heart attack. So, I went in again, and this time had a much longer stay, despite the much welcome news that I had NOT suffered a myocardial infarction. Don't know what that pain was, but it wasn't a heart attack.

Anyway, the doctor told me that my recovery time (as far as being able to breathe like I should be able to, and return to all of my pre-embolism activities) will be "weeks, if not months". (Yikes.) And I'm now on blood thinners, in an effort to keep new clots from forming. Which is good on that count, but . . . I'm the king of falling down and cracking my head, and I am always covered in little cuts and scrapes. So now I'm on medication which makes my blood take longer to clot. I keep expecting to get a superficial cut on my arm during a fall or seizure and bleed to death from it.

Sickness Ain't Sexy

I'm not sure how many posts it'll take for me to tell the whole story. I am one long winded sumbitch, after all. Nor am I sure how often I'll be posting. My siblings have internet here at the house, so I've got access while I'm here. But for some reason writing seems to tire me out. So I'm not going to rush this. (Or, I'm going to try not to rush this, at least. I'll either take it easy, and do this in managable installments, or start a marathon writing session and be found passed out on the floor underneath the computer desk. Whichever.)

But pulmonary embolism (and all the fun stuff that goes with it) doesn't really seem all that sex-oriented, and this is still a sex-blog (as much as it's ever been, anyway). So the posts dealing with my recent medical nonsense will probably go up on the blog among and between other posts about naughtier stuff.

After all, I'd really like to spend a little bit of time talking about pussy. And the whole nurse fantasy/fetish thing. Non-descriminating female sexual intercourse enthusiasts (or, to use the more common and typically derogatory term for that particular archtype, 'sluts'). Erotic and/or pornographic still images found online (and some of my personal preferences therein), Some strange thoughts that I've had (post-embolism) regarding submission. Questions of etiquette in a sexual setting. There's also some discussion to be had about my renewed sense of urgency regarding the loss of my virginity and becoming 'fully' sexually active.

(Plus I've still got to eventually finish writing/posting the 'Fetish Crush' series.)

Prior to all of this recent medical nonsense going on, I did have a vague schedule for the blog, but that's been all shot to Hell now. (Especially by the fact that all of my notes on just what that schedule was are currently on my computer at home, whereas I'm here at my siblings' place.)

So the big Time Delay ship is currently running without charts. (Or sails. And with just the one oar, I'm rowing in circles. Plus, there's nobody manning the galley. Yikes.)

But as for now, it's naptime. Zzzzzzzzzzzz . . . . .