Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Hello, and welcome to Time Delay.

Yes, it’s a sex blog. (No, the internet didn’t already have enough sex blogs. Shut up.)

Why “Time Delay”? I’m glad I pretended that you asked. I had several working titles for this thing when I decided to start blogging. “Searching For My Sex Life”. “I’M HORNY AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” I even thought about titling it “Wish Me Fuck”, but decided that no matter how clever my word-play was, it was probably best not to put the F-word in the title. (Especially on Blogger.) I settled on “Time Delay” for several reasons.

First of all, if this were a normal sex blog, it would consist mainly of me telling stories about my sex life. And herein lies the first problem. I’m not actually having any sex. I’m hoping to remedy that fact as soon as possible, but until that happens, I’m writing a sex blog where there’s a time delay before we get to actual sex.

So why, I pretend you ask again, don’t I just tell stories of past sexual escapades? Well, . . . you know how these crazy kids today are having sex before they graduate high school? (Sometimes while they’re still in grade school.) And those that don’t, start having it shortly thereafter. Or in their early twenties? Late twenties for the late bloomers. Earlier thirties at the absolute latest? Yeah, I’m not one of those people.

Here’s my deep, dark secret: I was born in 1970, and as of this writing, I am still a virgin. There’s the second time delay. I’m on a quest to lose my virginity. Everybody else has done that already, usually 20 years or more earlier than I’m doing it. Time Delay.

And, while I’ll obviously take whatever I can get, what I’m yearning for isn’t plain vanilla sex. You see, I’m a virgin, but I haven’t been pure of heart and chaste of mind for a long, long time now. I’ve discovered that “virginity” + “sex fantasies” x “time” = “kinky fetish-filled perversion”. The time delay between me starting to think about sex (and watching porn, and reading erotica, and so on) and now means that my dirty little mind has been exposed to all sorts of nasty little thoughts and concepts that it wants me to put into practice RIGHT F’N NOW! Sure, make sweet tender love to someone if that’s what she wants, but keep the bondage gear and toys handy.

I could keep finding more forms of inherent time delay in the story of my sexual self, but there’s also a more practical, format-related reason I’m using the title.

I am blogging without internet access of my own. Which means that there’s a (you guessed it) time delay between me writing a ‘post’, and me getting somewhere with internet access (usually my sister’s apartment, or a library) to actually post it. These little internet-visits are the kind of thing that have been happening about once a week here lately.

I write a post, put it on my flash drive, eventually get somewhere with internet, move it off of my flash drive and post it. Bang. Hopefully, weekly(ish) posts. But then there are comments to consider. If I’m spending the night at my sister’s place, I can respond to any comments while I’m there, usually at about 2:00 am. But if I’m just doing a quick library run for internet, then any comments that have been posted get moved onto the flash drive unread. I read and respond to them back at home, and then post those responses next time I’m online, at which time I’m also probably uploading a new post. In this case, my replies to comments posted about blog entry #5 will be answered at the same time I’m posting blog entry #7. Whee! Like I said: Time Delay.

O.K., so that’s the introduction. Even not having had sex yet, I’ve still got lots of things to say about the subject, so I’m not worried about being able to find content to fill this space. And I do have a few ‘irons in the fire’, so to speak. I’ve been working my way into the local BDSM crowd. I’ve talked to a couple of people who’ve posted personal ads on Craigslist. So, who knows. Actual sex could happen at any time.

Stay tuned. And, uh . . . wish me fuck.


Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say 'welcome!'

I found you on fetlife.com and I've added the feed for your blog to my livejournal.

My blog isn't public, but you can use your blog and open id to add me and I would add you back.

Good luck!

Trainer said...

Best of Luck....and happy blogging. I'm sure you'll find it helps to get things off your chest

Zeitgeist the Clown said...

Amorette -- I've 'friended' you on Livejournal, and have been reading your blog since you friended me back. Entertaining stuff.

Trainer -- It does indeed help . . . this is incredibly cheap therapy.

THANK YOU both for commenting.